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Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In March I bought porn for [livejournal.com profile] enigmassweet (10 points). Last Wednesday I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Thursday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole [livejournal.com profile] strtwearinpurpl's purse (30 points). In April I helped [livejournal.com profile] thosetwoturrets see the light (8 points). In October I committed genocide... Sorry about that, [livejournal.com profile] flightattdntguy (-5000 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-5028 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
save_us_alice

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. . . I'll admit to killing scores of people, but I must say it was a) all in self-defense, b) they're all back alive now, and c) it had nothing whatsoever to do with Simon. (Also, a moldy sandwich is the worst punishment Santa can inflict on me?)
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Alice Liddell Brown

February 2014

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