This year I've been busy!
In March I bought porn for enigmassweet (10 points). Last Wednesday I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Thursday I caught a purse-snatcher who stole strtwearinpurpl's purse (30 points). In April I helped thosetwoturrets see the light (8 points). In October I committed genocide... Sorry about that, flightattdntguy (-5000 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-5028 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!
. . . I'll admit to killing scores of people, but I must say it was a) all in self-defense, b) they're all back alive now, and c) it had nothing whatsoever to do with Simon. (Also, a moldy sandwich is the worst punishment Santa can inflict on me?)